Today is a sad post. As many of you know we have been approved as foster parents through the state of Nebraska. The day of our first placement I received a call, on my way to court, that indicated the agency was in a scramble because we are evidently only approved with an exception process. The exception process means our license is only conditionally approved and any placements the agency would like to make to us first has to be approved by the state. This was the first we had heard of the exception process and we we were pretty upset about it. We have since found out that the governor has taken over approval of all exceptions and will often take 30 days or more to decide. A child waits for 30 days is unacceptable in any case and often those children are found other homes in that time frame. To our knowledge the governor has not approved any exceptions to homes such as ours.
You may ask how we managed to get our foster. Well through a trick of the case manager who indicated to the judge that she had a non-traditional home ready to take foster. The judge understood and in her ruling specifically put foster into my care. My name is on the court order.
I got a call a week ago from the recruiter of our agency that I have become friends with over the last few months. She wanted to do lunch. When I got there she had some very sad news for us. The state had added a stipulation to the exception process that indicates all other available placement options must be evaluated prior to an exception being requested. This means that if a 10 year old needs a home and a home only accepts 1-5 year olds they would have to be contacted and evaluated for the 10 year old prior to us being given consideration. This basically tells us we will only be offered the kids that no one else wants or can handle.
We have gone into this with open and honest communication with all parties. We filled out all of our paperwork so that children coming into our home would be kids we would consider adopting if they became available. With M living in Aurora and me in Omaha I can't handle the extremely hard cases that come into foster care.
M and I talked about this and he may have even prayed during our drive to California. At the end of the day we feel so invalidated by the state and a little lied to by our agency. We have therefore decided to move on with our lives and put to rest the hope of adding to our family human children and will remain dedicated and focused parents to our pups and amazing guncles to our many nieces and nephews.
I had cried my tears over this many times in the past and this decision came to me rather easily this time. I'm ready to be off the emotional rollercoaster that has been my life through the last few years in Nebraska, when it comes to having a family here.
I'm sorry to our friends and families that had such high hopes for us. I feel that I am letting you down in so many ways. I'm Sorry I'm Sorry I'm Sorry I just can't put myself through this anymore.
Peace, Love and Puppy Dogs,
John
You may ask how we managed to get our foster. Well through a trick of the case manager who indicated to the judge that she had a non-traditional home ready to take foster. The judge understood and in her ruling specifically put foster into my care. My name is on the court order.
I got a call a week ago from the recruiter of our agency that I have become friends with over the last few months. She wanted to do lunch. When I got there she had some very sad news for us. The state had added a stipulation to the exception process that indicates all other available placement options must be evaluated prior to an exception being requested. This means that if a 10 year old needs a home and a home only accepts 1-5 year olds they would have to be contacted and evaluated for the 10 year old prior to us being given consideration. This basically tells us we will only be offered the kids that no one else wants or can handle.
We have gone into this with open and honest communication with all parties. We filled out all of our paperwork so that children coming into our home would be kids we would consider adopting if they became available. With M living in Aurora and me in Omaha I can't handle the extremely hard cases that come into foster care.
M and I talked about this and he may have even prayed during our drive to California. At the end of the day we feel so invalidated by the state and a little lied to by our agency. We have therefore decided to move on with our lives and put to rest the hope of adding to our family human children and will remain dedicated and focused parents to our pups and amazing guncles to our many nieces and nephews.
I had cried my tears over this many times in the past and this decision came to me rather easily this time. I'm ready to be off the emotional rollercoaster that has been my life through the last few years in Nebraska, when it comes to having a family here.
I'm sorry to our friends and families that had such high hopes for us. I feel that I am letting you down in so many ways. I'm Sorry I'm Sorry I'm Sorry I just can't put myself through this anymore.
Peace, Love and Puppy Dogs,
John
You've not let anyone down. The foster system has tremendous problems and lets us down. State laws that discriminate against some types of families let us down. You, however, have not failed in anyway - and have excelled at finding your place of wisdom.
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