a year of lasts

As this year has been a year of many firsts. We also may be finding ourselves in a year of a number of lasts!

This will be the first time in many many years that I haven't been with my family for the holidays. On the contrary this will be one of the first times M has spent most of the holidays with his family in many years. This is our first time living in Las Vegas. Our first time in many years we didn't take a large vacation. The first time in many years we haven't adopted a four legged child.

However, for all those firsts it is also a year of potentially many lasts. This could be the last year that we spend the holidays without a human child. This could be the last year we have enough freedom to come and go as we please. This could be the last year we don't have to worry about school schedules, parent teacher conferences and doctors appointments.

This revelation of life has been building over the last few weeks, but it hit home directly tonight when I got the mail and I found the big holiday book from Target. I could save $50 on stuff I don't need. As I was about to toss it in the recycling bin it hit me. OH SHIT next year I may have to care about what toys are on sale and the ability to save that $50!!!!!! I felt like that moment in Frozen when she sings about it being anxiety or gas. I wasn't sure if I was excited or in fear for my life.

I'm sure every parent to be has those moments of sheer panic where you wonder if what you are doing is right. You ask yourself am I ready for this? Could this be real? Who would entrust me with a little person. Then you slip into I've taken classes and the state must think I'm ready. Then you think wait the state can't balance their budget am I really using them as a parental baseline of qualification.

It all rushes through your mind in the blink of an eye. Then you remember the warm hugs from nieces and nephews. Them texting that they miss and love you. Them wishing you were near and coming home for the holidays. In those memories you think I can do this. I could have that every night. That with the bedtime fights and the 45 minute shower arguments and the you can't wear that discussions and the hurt feelings from bullies or not getting onto a team or activity.

At the second blink of an eye the migraine starts and you suddenly feel overwhelmed and incapable of the many little tasks of parenting. You have to sit. You have to breath. You have to ponder life's greater ambitions and the balance of power in the world.

Then your phone dings and it's an email from an adoption site showing you kids that just want to be loved and find a home that will be good to them. You read a profile of kids who say they want parents who make meals at night, will take them to the park and will maybe let them have a dog. You suddenly realize for the umptenth time that life is such a short blink of existence and in many cases all we can do is the best we can and hope for the best. That life is to short to not reach out to another person and want to help where you can. Suddenly life is back into perspective and while all is not perfect in the world, for one or two children life will be infinitely better because we will love them and care for them the best that we can. We will make mistakes as will they and we will learn together how to trust each other, learn from our mistakes and learn how to be a family.

If you have little people in your home hug them close tonight. Their are many children in our world who do not get enough hugs or love or clothing or food.

Peace, Love and Puppy Dogs,

J

Diary of a renovation addicts bf

Many homeowners like the phrase move in ready. My condo was move in ready. I didn't get to pick anything when I bought it, but frankly I liked the options chosen so that wasn't a big deal.

When I moved to Omaha and in with M the house had a number of renovations already completed. The carpet was all gone, the original hardwood floors redone, the shower had been installed and the basement finished. After that we put in new windows, painted the kitchen cabinets, put crown molding in the main floor bedrooms, granite counter-tops in the kitchen, a new hot water heater in the basement, new front steps, new sidewalk, new shared drive and of course the new french doors into the back yard. This list seems pretty extensive. Most we completed ourselves, but many of the biggest items were left to professionals. Needless to say after 10 years of renovating the house I thought we were done with that. I had only lived their 5 years and it seemed like we'd done so much.

Fast forward to our home search in Las Vegas. The phrase move in ready was one I wanted to hear. Ok I knew we'd have to paint because that is minor I was willing to overlook that issue. We found our perfect home and thought ya you know over the next 5 or 10 years we could replace things here and there and make it our own. Little did I know that 4.5 months later it would feel like major renovations had been taking place:

1. Retile the master show
2. Rip up carpet in master bath and lay tile
3. Add cabinet to the kitchen to give more counter space and cabinet for all the dogs food etc.
4. New motor in the pool pump.
5. Trim everything in the back yard (a dumpster full!!)
6. Desert landscaping in the front yard removing the tree and all of the lawn. Replace with three ton of rock, plants and two trees.
7. Add 2 ton of rock to the back yard landscaping (all moved back their by me with two buckets!)
8. Tear up all the tile and carpet on the main floor and install travertine tile.
9. Whitewash, antique and seal all the first floor cabinets so they match.

Not to mentioned we painted everything except the upstairs bedrooms and bathroom. I'm sure those are on the list. This list also doesn't include some of the items we've had to purchase as part of our foster/adoption licensing!!

Now don't get me wrong I'm so excited with how everything looks, but I constantly ask myself what happened to 'MOVE IN READY'. Do I live with a man that is incapable of understanding this concept? Am I incapable of understanding that concept? I'd prefer to blame him!

I sometimes feel that I need to meet the Jones' of our neighborhood, knock on their door and say sorry we moved in and well we've become the Jones' now thanks for playing in the minor leagues, but the pros have arrived and we don't want you to feel bad when you don't win.  We have the only 3 car garage house in our immediate neighborhood. We are 1 of only 2 two stories in the immediate neighborhood. The second being right next door where a family of 5 lives. We are one of only a couple of houses in the immediate neighborhood with a pool.

I mean seriously people the GAYS moved in let's not make a big deal about this and just understand that we are the shit and our house will always be the nicest on the block inside and out. It's not that we mean it to be a competition, but M is a little OCD and I'm a good helper. I've also become pretty good at demo. It helps with the frustration really.

All this renovation will be worth it, I hope, when our home value increases and we step in the door and say this feels like home. It's just the dirty tiring mess along the way that is exhausting. I mean I hate dusting, but I feel like the layers are a bit excessive. If it were better soil I'd plant a crop, but it's desert and has little growing potential.

At this moment we are about 1/3 of the way done with the flooring. I continue to take out carpet just ahead of what M has finished. The goal is to have everything done by Thanksgiving as we are hosting a number of M's kinfolk. (that's a whole nother blog post I'm sure!)

Either way the house will look amazing when it is done and we will feel all the more comfortable lounging in our beautiful home.

Some pics to give you ideas!

The formal living room.

The entryway.

The old entryway.

The hallway to the master bedroom, powder room and laundry. 

The antiqued kitchen cabinets. 

The new master bath with new tile in the shower (including decorative class inlays) and floor. 

From an exhausted blogger, Peace, Love and Puppy Dogs,

J

We said I do...

To starting a family! What did you think I meant? Silly readers tricks are for kids. It is true. Once we got settled we decided to see what Nevada requirements were to adopt from the foster care system. Nebraska was not friendly, as many of you remember, but we were pleasantly surprised to find out that Nevada is very welcoming to LGBT foster and adoptive parents. As an unmarried couple one of us will be the adoptive parent and the other will be listed as a second parent. This is the process for any unmarried couples wishing to adopt through the foster care system so it isn’t really that much of a hindrance. The agency has indicated that both adoptions can be performed on the same day just takes additional paperwork to be filed. So we are well on our way into the process. We decided not to share this information with the general public for fear that we’d get into it and have issues like we did in Nebraska. We are completing the same TIPPS-MAPP class that we did in Omaha. Sadly the state does not allow for transferring of the class credits. Here it is 10 long weeks of 3 hour class, versus 3 hours for 7 weeks before. We elected to do the Friday night classes to accommodate both of our schedules. Tonight we arrive for week 5. With two holidays we expect to be done with class December 12. After that we’ll have our final home study visit and hope to be licensed by January and starting to talk with adoption specialist about possible kids that are available. We did have our first home study visit last night. The licensing workers were very complimentary of our house. Considering we are renovating some of it ourselves and it was dirty they seemed pleased with the space etc. We do have a few things yet to get and some stuff to move at the house, but overall the house is fairly ready. As before all cleaning supplies have to be up high, all medications have to be in a locked cabinet or closet, pool safety items need to be purchased, etc. The only unexpected item from last night’s visit was them telling us that we could not store any pet food in the kitchen or feed the kids in the kitchen. We are challenging that decision as we recently added a cabinet in our kitchen with its own countertop to house and prep all dog related items. The only other sticking point is they are trying to say we cannot store cans of wet dog food in the fridge. We’ll fight that one too as one of the cans is 100% pure pumpkin and the other is one small can of wet dog food for Andrew (the princess has to be fed separately). The classes are ok, but the material is exactly the same. I will say that classes here are much more organized and they actually have us hand in our homework and review it each week. The licensing coordinator sits in on all of our classes and makes notes about the couples to get a better feel for them. Previously the class was presented by two case workers that rotated through teaching duties. No homework was required and it was extremely lax. I do appreciate the professional attitude of the teachers, but the class material is all a repeat. The most interesting thing about our class is that of the 25-30 individuals in their most are LGBT. The first night was kind of funny as one of the ladies asked if we were the only type of people to do this sort of thing. There are 4 straight couples, 2 gay couples, 4-5 lesbian couples and then 3-4 individual women. Last night the licensing workers indicated they’d just taken a LGBT inclusiveness training to better help and prepare LGBT homes to be foster/adoptive families. Then they walked into our class and were a little surprised. Evidently this is the first time they’ve had a class so skewed to LGBT. They actually seemed rather surprised and started to realize how much of their paperwork only says mom/dad versus other types of parenting mixes. However, they were interested to realize that many of the items discussed in the training are the exact items that the members of class are discussing. Overall our experience has been positive here. We really feel like we will be able to grow our family here and make a positive impact in a child(ren) life as well as our own. Peace, Love and Puppy Dogs, J

Good news for a change

If you're like me you don't watch much TV. I'm not your average American I assume as most people do actually watch a lot of TV. They DVR things and watch it later. They have news or a show on during dinner, as they get dressed in the morning and/or watch their soaps during lunch. You carry a mini TV in your pocket if you are a smart phone user and still have a data plan capable of enough to actually watch Netflix, Hulu or Amazon Prime on the go.

However, I like the old fashioned way of looking up my news on the internet and scrolling headlines and brief descriptions to decide if it is an article or video clip I want to watch. Every day I'm looking for a feel good story. I want something that reminds me that their is good in the world. Today I scrolled through CNN.com and Yahoo.com and found not one article that I would consider a feel good story.

With everything going on in our World and the 24/7 non-stop news coverage of every little detail of life, can we not have something positive. Must everything be about Ebola, ISIS, the economy still struggling to get back to where it was, etc.

I'm not trying to downplay the importance of any of those issues, but I feel that we are inundated with the doom and gloom of the world. What does that do to our lives and the lives of young people when all they see are the negatives in the World. I don't want fluff peaces about someone saving a kitty from a tree everyday, but their has to be stories worthy of a feel good nature that get some air play around here.

I decided to Google: Feel Good News Stories and believe it or not their are actually a few websites out there for these.

http://abcnews.go.com/US/Good_News/
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/good-news/

The ones above are just two examples of sites with feel good stories. My next question will be though why are these sites not more hyped. Why isn't their a prominent link to these on the main websites.

I challenge each of you to take a look at them, bookmark them, return to them often for a good read or look further for sites or articles of your own. Even better write your own feel good stories. Maybe it is something that you have done or something that someone in the community has done that hasn't seemed to get enough attention. Post it on facebook and encourage others to share. I'd love to start a list of all the sites and stories for us to share because we need to keep front and center all the good that is in the World or else we lose sight of what we are fighting for.

Peace, Love and Puppy Dogs,

J

Time to Reboot the blog.

Well here goes. I know it has been a few months (April) so sorry to have taken this long to write again. Nothing really exciting and new to report during this post. Just some general ideas of life.

Michael and I are quickly approaching our 6 year anniversary. Our first date was in late January or early February. Really wish we could remember. In that time our family has grown to 4 dogs, thousands of miles traveled and a beautiful new life in Vegas with some amazing new friends. Sadly we miss the old ones deeply and hope they all come to visit soon! hint hint

I start my new job on October 20th and am really looking forward to heading back to work. It'll be nice to have a routine in life again, be earning a paycheck and be out of the house more.

I've found myself in the sad position of gaining back a lot of the weight I had lost about 8 years ago. I'm recently totally enamored by this guys youtube page and easy homeworkouts. I've no illusion of being built like him, but if I could slim back down, feel healthier with more energy and fit into all my suits I'd be happy.

https://www.youtube.com/user/leftyjrpro

I'm going to try and mix this up a little with more posts about life, good living, my exercise routine, healthy foods, kids, dogs, travel and life in Las Vegas.

Wish me luck and thanks for reading!!

Peace, Love and Puppy Dogs,

j