Family book..a work in process!

So as I'd eluded to in a previous blog we are working on a 'book' to introduce us to potential kids and their case workers. I said I'd post some of it as we went along. While the 'book' is almost finished I thought I'd share the first section with you today!

Dear …….,

You are probably have a few questions about who might be interested in adopting you. We thought we’d put together this little album to tell you a little more about ourselves. First and foremost: this is us! I’m John on the left and Michael is on the right. Yes he’s bald, but we don’t dwell on it. He can grow hair, but isn’t he handsome with a shaved head!

We met in January of 2009. We met the old fashion way: online! Michael lived in Omaha, NE and John lived in Des Moines, IA. We actually chatted via the online site for 6 months prior to meeting person. We had our first date and then both promptly left for two weeks of vacation back to back. Michael flew to SoCal to visit his family and just as he returned John flew to New Zealand for two weeks on his graduation present to himself to tour the country and visit friends. Upon our returns we continued to chat and eventually had date two, then three, then four….

After a few months of dating Michael ended a call by saying he loved John. They hung up and John was a little nervous. He texted to see if it was “luv” like a friend or LOVE. The response was LOVE. In April of 2010 John moved to Omaha so they could be together. In June of 2014 we undertook a new challenge in life when we moved to Henderson, NV for Michael’s job and to be closer to his parents.

End of the year...

It is hard to believe that the end of 2014 is nearly upon us. It's been a crazy ride and each year seems to go faster than the one before. My nieces and nephews are almost all grown into fine young men and women. Only two remain under the age of 18 and one of those two just got drivers license. I remember the nights they arrived into our lives.  How much excitement and joy they brought with them. I know what it felt like from the Uncle side, but as M and I approach a new year of potential Fatherhood I'm starting to realize what it meant for my siblings as well.

I'm nervous about all the what if's that existing for us. We are not bringing a helpless baby into our home that we can grow and learn with. We are bringing older children who already have their bad habits, opinions, beliefs etc.  My biggest worry is bonding with them so that we each feel that this is a parent child situation.  With foster kids you always know that they are not meant to be with you forever. The whole goal is reunification with the parents, but our new children will be here to stay. Will we be good fathers?

My Mother appears to have all the confidence in us. My siblings seem to be excited about the prospect of us having children (although I'm wondering if it is more in regards to some secret they know that we have yet to figure out). My friends are all patiently waiting as they know I've wanted this for years. 

And here we sit. As prepared as we possible can be for the coming of 2015. We know our lives will change, but the unknown of how much is hard to explain.  We take ever opportunity to spend time together just being with each other knowing that in a few short weeks/months that alone time will be a scarce commodity. We look through the postings for Nevada on www.adoptex.org to see what kids are currently looking for adoptive homes. We've inquired about 3-4 of them. Although the time of year extends the wait period to get a response. Like any other place case workers want time off during the holidays to spend time with their loved ones. 

At the end of each year you realize that change truly is the only constant in life. The calendar days continue to slip by, the grains of sand continue to fall, and time elapses before our very eyes. Beauty lurks in every corner of our lives if we pause, but for a moment and appreciate it. Every year we get performance evaluations at work, but how many of us do them on our personal lives. Who can say that they've stopped to smell the roses. Who can say that they remember all the good or extras that they've done in their lives or that of others.  Perhaps that will be my next blog. My evaluation of my performance on a personal level.

Peace, Love and Puppy Dogs,

J

Getting Closer...

Well the stockings are almost hung by the fireplace with care. Of course they are just the four for the furbabies, but I'm sure we can make space next year for a few more non-furbaby children. :)

Our long journey to become daddy 1 and daddy 2 is getting so close. Our final class is Friday night. Not sure what we are all going to learn in that class as it's a pot luck celebration. Either way we are glad to be done and have our Friday nights back. It's been a good class. Even though we've taken it all before I appreciate the professionalism and organization that the presenters brought to it. The class in Nebraska was poorly done compared to our trainers here.

Our final home study visit was completed on Saturday. We had almost everything done. There were 3 things we did forget. Luckily the licensing workers were willing to let us complete them and send them pics versus having to come out again. 1. needed another fire alarm, 2. needed to move some paint in the garage to a higher shelf and 3. needed a thermometer for the first aid kit.  We got on these and sent pictures yet Saturday afternoon.

Our licensing worker is planning to have our home study approved by the end of the month. Then we just need to go in, review it and sign everything. Included in this packet will be a confidentiality agreement. Until after the adoption we cannot share much of the kids backgrounds, names or pictures on Facebook. As before if I mention them anywhere they will most likely be referred to as Foster with a number. Ya know cause their will be more than 1.

Once we are approved we work with our licensing worker to continue down the journey and start meeting with adoption case workers. Our licensing worker stays with us for the first 9 months to ensure things are going smoothly, remind us of what we learned in class and be a resource. Once we have met with adoption workers and have agreed about possible good matches for us, the kids will be contacted by their case workers to see how they feel about us. Since our age group is 8 years or older the kids do get some input on what families they go to. If everyone agrees to meet then the courtship begins.

We start by meeting with the kids for a few hours every week to get to know each other and start building a bond. After a while if things are going well we'll do overnight stays. If those go well the kids would then transition to our home full-time at which time we would be considered their foster parents. All adoptive parents have to foster their potential adoptive children for at least 6 months prior to being able to legally adopt. This ensures that the family unit has bonded, that the case workers feel the bond will work long-term and ensures the kids and us are on board to continue. Some adoptions could take much longer than the six months and some are completed at the six month mark exactly. Just depends on the situation.

So at this point we've done about everything that we can do. Now it's just to patiently wait for paperwork to be done so we can start talking to the case workers about specific kids.

I'm not going to lie I'm getting a little excited and nervous. I'm excited to have kids, but nervous thinking about what if they don't bond with us, what if they don't think of us as their Dad's etc.

I guess only time will tell!

Peace, Love and Puppy Dogs,

J