Sunday, December 28, 2014

End of the year...

It is hard to believe that the end of 2014 is nearly upon us. It's been a crazy ride and each year seems to go faster than the one before. My nieces and nephews are almost all grown into fine young men and women. Only two remain under the age of 18 and one of those two just got drivers license. I remember the nights they arrived into our lives.  How much excitement and joy they brought with them. I know what it felt like from the Uncle side, but as M and I approach a new year of potential Fatherhood I'm starting to realize what it meant for my siblings as well.

I'm nervous about all the what if's that existing for us. We are not bringing a helpless baby into our home that we can grow and learn with. We are bringing older children who already have their bad habits, opinions, beliefs etc.  My biggest worry is bonding with them so that we each feel that this is a parent child situation.  With foster kids you always know that they are not meant to be with you forever. The whole goal is reunification with the parents, but our new children will be here to stay. Will we be good fathers?

My Mother appears to have all the confidence in us. My siblings seem to be excited about the prospect of us having children (although I'm wondering if it is more in regards to some secret they know that we have yet to figure out). My friends are all patiently waiting as they know I've wanted this for years. 

And here we sit. As prepared as we possible can be for the coming of 2015. We know our lives will change, but the unknown of how much is hard to explain.  We take ever opportunity to spend time together just being with each other knowing that in a few short weeks/months that alone time will be a scarce commodity. We look through the postings for Nevada on www.adoptex.org to see what kids are currently looking for adoptive homes. We've inquired about 3-4 of them. Although the time of year extends the wait period to get a response. Like any other place case workers want time off during the holidays to spend time with their loved ones. 

At the end of each year you realize that change truly is the only constant in life. The calendar days continue to slip by, the grains of sand continue to fall, and time elapses before our very eyes. Beauty lurks in every corner of our lives if we pause, but for a moment and appreciate it. Every year we get performance evaluations at work, but how many of us do them on our personal lives. Who can say that they've stopped to smell the roses. Who can say that they remember all the good or extras that they've done in their lives or that of others.  Perhaps that will be my next blog. My evaluation of my performance on a personal level.

Peace, Love and Puppy Dogs,
J

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