I heard about the story of Tom and Shane via facebook. Someone had shared the extremely emotional video diary that Shane had done after Tom's death. For those of you who don't know Tom and Shane were a gay couple living in California. They'd been together six years, owned a house together, a business, traveled extensively and had built an amazing life for two young men in their mid to late 20's. They both came from small towns Tom from Indiana and Shane from Wyoming. Shane had family that loved and accepted him. Tom had a family that loved and accepted the part of him that wasn't gay.
Sadly Tom was in an accident and died as a result of a fall off a roof. The hospital wouldn't let Shane see Tom at the hospital. From the documentary it appears some nurses took it among themselves to break hospital rules and take him back to the room where Tom's body laid. Tom's mother showed up in California appeared to be friendly to everyone and then took Tom's body back to Indiana and never let anyone know about the funeral arrangements. When Shane tried to go he was called by a relative and told not to come on threat of violence.
Six years these two men spent together. M and I are just hitting our 5th year this coming January/February. My biggest fear in life is that something like this could happen to us. We could be traveling and one of us gets hurt. We could be in Nebraska going about our day and one of us gets hurt. One of us is rushed to a hospital and the other is not given any access to the other. No matter the protests. No matter the people standing with us. The hospital can say I'm not family. I don't think M's family would ever stop me from being involved in his medical care or decisions, but it's a scary thought.
This movie is the true face of marriage equality and why it is so important. When one is hurt or has passed on it is up to their next of kin or spouses to make decisions and without a legally binding contract a bf/gf/partner can be completely excluded from these discussions. Sure there are other legal avenues to accomplish medical power of attorney's etc, but a system is already in place that eliminates the need for these additional and costly legal documents. One simple trip to the court house gives a world of safety and recognition to unions between adult individuals. Isn't it time we treated adults as adults and allowed them to love and marry whomever they choose.
Peace, Love and Puppy Dogs,
John
Sadly Tom was in an accident and died as a result of a fall off a roof. The hospital wouldn't let Shane see Tom at the hospital. From the documentary it appears some nurses took it among themselves to break hospital rules and take him back to the room where Tom's body laid. Tom's mother showed up in California appeared to be friendly to everyone and then took Tom's body back to Indiana and never let anyone know about the funeral arrangements. When Shane tried to go he was called by a relative and told not to come on threat of violence.
Six years these two men spent together. M and I are just hitting our 5th year this coming January/February. My biggest fear in life is that something like this could happen to us. We could be traveling and one of us gets hurt. We could be in Nebraska going about our day and one of us gets hurt. One of us is rushed to a hospital and the other is not given any access to the other. No matter the protests. No matter the people standing with us. The hospital can say I'm not family. I don't think M's family would ever stop me from being involved in his medical care or decisions, but it's a scary thought.
This movie is the true face of marriage equality and why it is so important. When one is hurt or has passed on it is up to their next of kin or spouses to make decisions and without a legally binding contract a bf/gf/partner can be completely excluded from these discussions. Sure there are other legal avenues to accomplish medical power of attorney's etc, but a system is already in place that eliminates the need for these additional and costly legal documents. One simple trip to the court house gives a world of safety and recognition to unions between adult individuals. Isn't it time we treated adults as adults and allowed them to love and marry whomever they choose.
Peace, Love and Puppy Dogs,
John
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