To DINK or Not to DINK....that is the question!

As many of you may know the last few weeks here at Foster World have been a little rough. I think as I look back on conversations M and I have had it isn't so much that the kids are worse or better than we thought, it is more that we don't always feel that our support from case workers and case managers are sufficient. In their defense they are overburdened with large case loads, minimal operational support and low pay. Turn over in these positions tends to be high largely because better opportunities are presented or simple burnout occurs.

In the last few weeks I've had calls answered with little to no concern for what is going on or multiple calls and texts not returned for almost 24 hours. If I'm going to go through the work of actually calling you it's a safe bet that I need you to return that call. Sadly even when the call does get returned it is with the same indifference as when it is answered the first scenario.

So these struggles have lead to some very serious conversations in my home that are continuing. The simplest question I can break it down to is: To DINK or NOT to DINK. (For those of you who are not familiar with this marketing term it stands for Duel Income No Kids) There is a growing trend to this lifestyle in our world today. Many couples or individuals are making the choice to not have children. People often think them weird, strange or that it's just a phase and that they will change their minds, but I give these individuals kudos for making a tough decision. Society is often not kind, especially to women, who do not feel the need to have children.

So back to the topic at hand is would M and I be ok if we maintained our DINK lifestyle. For M the answer appears to be easier than it is for me. He is older and has had more time to contemplate this answer and frankly says until he met me he never thought of marriage or children. He is ok being DINK or unDINK. I am the lone holdout. I often picture my funeral, I know how morbid, and think will I regret looking down and not having children in the receiving line hearing and sharing life stories. (Yes bitches I said down cause Jesus and I got some talking to do. Hell don't want me cause I'd take over and re-arrange the fun and Heaven's afraid I will and people will want to come down and party.)  However, I think it goes deeper than that. I feel like I am at a point in my life where I look at my world and think what am I doing to make it a better place. I'm never going to be a great scientist who invents something great and wonderful. I'm never going to be a billionaire who can donate huge sums of money to malaria and polio vaccinations. I'm never going to feed the world (frankly M is scared when I'm in the kitchen to long). So how do I have a lasting impact on the world in a positive manor? What else can I do to have more fulfillment in my life other than being a hard working financial employee?  M makes peoples lives better every single day. He is amazing at what he does and even through the stress and the distance it now causes us he has an impact for the better for those individuals who need him. I don't have that yet. I'm still searching for my center.

So as I think about our DINK life I realize how blessed I am and wonder if a DINK life is the life for us what else do I have to offer the world to make it a better place?

Peace, Love and Puppy Dogs,
John