Family book..a work in process!

So as I'd eluded to in a previous blog we are working on a 'book' to introduce us to potential kids and their case workers. I said I'd post some of it as we went along. While the 'book' is almost finished I thought I'd share the first section with you today!

Dear …….,

You are probably have a few questions about who might be interested in adopting you. We thought we’d put together this little album to tell you a little more about ourselves. First and foremost: this is us! I’m John on the left and Michael is on the right. Yes he’s bald, but we don’t dwell on it. He can grow hair, but isn’t he handsome with a shaved head!

We met in January of 2009. We met the old fashion way: online! Michael lived in Omaha, NE and John lived in Des Moines, IA. We actually chatted via the online site for 6 months prior to meeting person. We had our first date and then both promptly left for two weeks of vacation back to back. Michael flew to SoCal to visit his family and just as he returned John flew to New Zealand for two weeks on his graduation present to himself to tour the country and visit friends. Upon our returns we continued to chat and eventually had date two, then three, then four….

After a few months of dating Michael ended a call by saying he loved John. They hung up and John was a little nervous. He texted to see if it was “luv” like a friend or LOVE. The response was LOVE. In April of 2010 John moved to Omaha so they could be together. In June of 2014 we undertook a new challenge in life when we moved to Henderson, NV for Michael’s job and to be closer to his parents.

End of the year...

It is hard to believe that the end of 2014 is nearly upon us. It's been a crazy ride and each year seems to go faster than the one before. My nieces and nephews are almost all grown into fine young men and women. Only two remain under the age of 18 and one of those two just got drivers license. I remember the nights they arrived into our lives.  How much excitement and joy they brought with them. I know what it felt like from the Uncle side, but as M and I approach a new year of potential Fatherhood I'm starting to realize what it meant for my siblings as well.

I'm nervous about all the what if's that existing for us. We are not bringing a helpless baby into our home that we can grow and learn with. We are bringing older children who already have their bad habits, opinions, beliefs etc.  My biggest worry is bonding with them so that we each feel that this is a parent child situation.  With foster kids you always know that they are not meant to be with you forever. The whole goal is reunification with the parents, but our new children will be here to stay. Will we be good fathers?

My Mother appears to have all the confidence in us. My siblings seem to be excited about the prospect of us having children (although I'm wondering if it is more in regards to some secret they know that we have yet to figure out). My friends are all patiently waiting as they know I've wanted this for years. 

And here we sit. As prepared as we possible can be for the coming of 2015. We know our lives will change, but the unknown of how much is hard to explain.  We take ever opportunity to spend time together just being with each other knowing that in a few short weeks/months that alone time will be a scarce commodity. We look through the postings for Nevada on www.adoptex.org to see what kids are currently looking for adoptive homes. We've inquired about 3-4 of them. Although the time of year extends the wait period to get a response. Like any other place case workers want time off during the holidays to spend time with their loved ones. 

At the end of each year you realize that change truly is the only constant in life. The calendar days continue to slip by, the grains of sand continue to fall, and time elapses before our very eyes. Beauty lurks in every corner of our lives if we pause, but for a moment and appreciate it. Every year we get performance evaluations at work, but how many of us do them on our personal lives. Who can say that they've stopped to smell the roses. Who can say that they remember all the good or extras that they've done in their lives or that of others.  Perhaps that will be my next blog. My evaluation of my performance on a personal level.

Peace, Love and Puppy Dogs,

J

Getting Closer...

Well the stockings are almost hung by the fireplace with care. Of course they are just the four for the furbabies, but I'm sure we can make space next year for a few more non-furbaby children. :)

Our long journey to become daddy 1 and daddy 2 is getting so close. Our final class is Friday night. Not sure what we are all going to learn in that class as it's a pot luck celebration. Either way we are glad to be done and have our Friday nights back. It's been a good class. Even though we've taken it all before I appreciate the professionalism and organization that the presenters brought to it. The class in Nebraska was poorly done compared to our trainers here.

Our final home study visit was completed on Saturday. We had almost everything done. There were 3 things we did forget. Luckily the licensing workers were willing to let us complete them and send them pics versus having to come out again. 1. needed another fire alarm, 2. needed to move some paint in the garage to a higher shelf and 3. needed a thermometer for the first aid kit.  We got on these and sent pictures yet Saturday afternoon.

Our licensing worker is planning to have our home study approved by the end of the month. Then we just need to go in, review it and sign everything. Included in this packet will be a confidentiality agreement. Until after the adoption we cannot share much of the kids backgrounds, names or pictures on Facebook. As before if I mention them anywhere they will most likely be referred to as Foster with a number. Ya know cause their will be more than 1.

Once we are approved we work with our licensing worker to continue down the journey and start meeting with adoption case workers. Our licensing worker stays with us for the first 9 months to ensure things are going smoothly, remind us of what we learned in class and be a resource. Once we have met with adoption workers and have agreed about possible good matches for us, the kids will be contacted by their case workers to see how they feel about us. Since our age group is 8 years or older the kids do get some input on what families they go to. If everyone agrees to meet then the courtship begins.

We start by meeting with the kids for a few hours every week to get to know each other and start building a bond. After a while if things are going well we'll do overnight stays. If those go well the kids would then transition to our home full-time at which time we would be considered their foster parents. All adoptive parents have to foster their potential adoptive children for at least 6 months prior to being able to legally adopt. This ensures that the family unit has bonded, that the case workers feel the bond will work long-term and ensures the kids and us are on board to continue. Some adoptions could take much longer than the six months and some are completed at the six month mark exactly. Just depends on the situation.

So at this point we've done about everything that we can do. Now it's just to patiently wait for paperwork to be done so we can start talking to the case workers about specific kids.

I'm not going to lie I'm getting a little excited and nervous. I'm excited to have kids, but nervous thinking about what if they don't bond with us, what if they don't think of us as their Dad's etc.

I guess only time will tell!

Peace, Love and Puppy Dogs,

J

The Family Book

So we just finished week 7 of the adoption classes. We are well on our way. Our licensing worker continues to go above and beyond for us. She told us that as long as we continued doing well in class and our stuff at the house was done on her next visit we'd be licensed shortly after class ends. At this point we are planning to have our final home study visit right after Thanksgiving. Additionally, as we've talked to her we've mentioned how we've spotted a few families on the website that we'd like additional information about once we are licensed. She told us to send her their names and she'd do some research for us. How awesome is she!?!?! She says she loves us and wants to help us find the perfect family to bring home.

So she's given us some preliminary stuff and continues to search. As part of our next steps I am working on a family book that would be shown to kids right before they meet us. It's an introduction to our family. I'm thinking of having it nicely bound etc just to give them something to have. Not the typical binder look, but something more impressive. I've been gathering pictures and writing about how we meet, all about the dogs and our families. It's coming along nicely, but I've realized I need to find a lot more pictures.

The whole point of the book is to help them familiarize themselves with what our family is about and take away some of the anxiety of meeting us. It's something they can look through with their foster parents and case workers before and after we meet with them. It also helps for when they come to our house for the first time so they kinda know what to expect.

I'm planning to post some of it as I get parts done! Stay tuned...

Peace, Love and Puppy Dogs!

j

PS:

John’s Family:

Well what to say about myself. I was born June 11, 1978 to Robert and Irene. I was raised on the same little patch of heaven that my father was. Actually, in the same house!  Aren’t I adorable! Michael’s mother once asked who the cute little girl in the picture was. Yep we had a good laugh. It was the 70’s what can I say.

like sands through an hour glass...

Well it's time for an update:

Item #1: Adoption classes are going well. We completed week 6 this week so only 4 more classes to go. With Thanksgiving in there we will be done the first part of December!! Last nights class saw me giving a little impassioned comment when some of the prospective Foster Parents asked if they had to go to court with the kids. I thought I may have come off a little strong, but I got a thank you email from our licensing worker today saying she loved it. I basically stated that in my opinion if you weren't willing to be their for your foster on court dates there is no reason for you to be a Foster Parent. Those are big days that they need you more than ever. Their case workers will see them at their appointments, but their court appointed attorneys never see the kids between dates. When I went they were a joke. I finally raised my hand from the back of court and had to set the attorney straight on what was being done to help Foster in school. You have to talk to your foster kids about court dates. Prepare them. Help them walk through what will happen, what may be asked and see if they know what they want to say so they can be thinking ahead of time. You also want to know what they are feeling. Court is scary. You have someone behind an elevated desk that you don't know making decisions about your life. All these adults asking you personal questions about life.

So ya my soap box was used last night. She loved it though. She wished all of her foster parents had such passion for helping the kids in the program. We chatted via email a little and she wants to complete our second home study visit between weeks 8 and 9 so after class 10 we are good to go to start meeting kids. She loves us and even offered to get us information on kids that we are interested in if she can.

I also inquired as to how you become a part-time TIPPS-MAP class facilitator.

Item #2: Work is coming along. I'm getting used to the culture and how things are done and settling into a routine. It's still a shock, but I'm getting used to it. I do wish people talked to each other more. Some days I could go most of the day with only talking to one or two people. :(

Item #3: The house renovation is coming along nicely. M's nephew and his girlfriend have moved to Vegas and are staying with us for a few weeks while they get situated and find jobs. (They actually both start jobs on Monday!) They've been such a huge help! They've been tiling and grouting during the day while we are at work. Today we actually got some of the floor sealed and I started to clean stuff to put back into place. The bathroom glass door and wall should be delivered on Monday and will hopefully be installed next week. M took next week off work and is planning to get it all finished and the house back in order. This is great news as some of his family invades for Thanksgiving in just two weeks. LOVE YOU GUYS!! We actually got enough stuff cleaned today that we once again have a kitchen counter to eat at!! I'm so excited I could cry. Now if we could just finish painting the bedroom so the ladder could be put away life would be overwhelmingly positive!

Item #4: We do believe that a pool guy from church has helped us find the leak in the pool and that it is relatively simple to fix. We have been waiting for enough water to evaporate/leak out so that it gets low enough for us to grout some of the skimmer area. Once that happens and the grout is in for a few days to dry, we fill it back up to see how it goes. I will be so excited if that is all it takes and will seriously hug him at church next time I see him.

Other than that things are going well. We are happy and healthy here in Vegas.

Peace, Love and Puppy Dogs,

J

a year of lasts

As this year has been a year of many firsts. We also may be finding ourselves in a year of a number of lasts!

This will be the first time in many many years that I haven't been with my family for the holidays. On the contrary this will be one of the first times M has spent most of the holidays with his family in many years. This is our first time living in Las Vegas. Our first time in many years we didn't take a large vacation. The first time in many years we haven't adopted a four legged child.

However, for all those firsts it is also a year of potentially many lasts. This could be the last year that we spend the holidays without a human child. This could be the last year we have enough freedom to come and go as we please. This could be the last year we don't have to worry about school schedules, parent teacher conferences and doctors appointments.

This revelation of life has been building over the last few weeks, but it hit home directly tonight when I got the mail and I found the big holiday book from Target. I could save $50 on stuff I don't need. As I was about to toss it in the recycling bin it hit me. OH SHIT next year I may have to care about what toys are on sale and the ability to save that $50!!!!!! I felt like that moment in Frozen when she sings about it being anxiety or gas. I wasn't sure if I was excited or in fear for my life.

I'm sure every parent to be has those moments of sheer panic where you wonder if what you are doing is right. You ask yourself am I ready for this? Could this be real? Who would entrust me with a little person. Then you slip into I've taken classes and the state must think I'm ready. Then you think wait the state can't balance their budget am I really using them as a parental baseline of qualification.

It all rushes through your mind in the blink of an eye. Then you remember the warm hugs from nieces and nephews. Them texting that they miss and love you. Them wishing you were near and coming home for the holidays. In those memories you think I can do this. I could have that every night. That with the bedtime fights and the 45 minute shower arguments and the you can't wear that discussions and the hurt feelings from bullies or not getting onto a team or activity.

At the second blink of an eye the migraine starts and you suddenly feel overwhelmed and incapable of the many little tasks of parenting. You have to sit. You have to breath. You have to ponder life's greater ambitions and the balance of power in the world.

Then your phone dings and it's an email from an adoption site showing you kids that just want to be loved and find a home that will be good to them. You read a profile of kids who say they want parents who make meals at night, will take them to the park and will maybe let them have a dog. You suddenly realize for the umptenth time that life is such a short blink of existence and in many cases all we can do is the best we can and hope for the best. That life is to short to not reach out to another person and want to help where you can. Suddenly life is back into perspective and while all is not perfect in the world, for one or two children life will be infinitely better because we will love them and care for them the best that we can. We will make mistakes as will they and we will learn together how to trust each other, learn from our mistakes and learn how to be a family.

If you have little people in your home hug them close tonight. Their are many children in our world who do not get enough hugs or love or clothing or food.

Peace, Love and Puppy Dogs,

J

Diary of a renovation addicts bf

Many homeowners like the phrase move in ready. My condo was move in ready. I didn't get to pick anything when I bought it, but frankly I liked the options chosen so that wasn't a big deal.

When I moved to Omaha and in with M the house had a number of renovations already completed. The carpet was all gone, the original hardwood floors redone, the shower had been installed and the basement finished. After that we put in new windows, painted the kitchen cabinets, put crown molding in the main floor bedrooms, granite counter-tops in the kitchen, a new hot water heater in the basement, new front steps, new sidewalk, new shared drive and of course the new french doors into the back yard. This list seems pretty extensive. Most we completed ourselves, but many of the biggest items were left to professionals. Needless to say after 10 years of renovating the house I thought we were done with that. I had only lived their 5 years and it seemed like we'd done so much.

Fast forward to our home search in Las Vegas. The phrase move in ready was one I wanted to hear. Ok I knew we'd have to paint because that is minor I was willing to overlook that issue. We found our perfect home and thought ya you know over the next 5 or 10 years we could replace things here and there and make it our own. Little did I know that 4.5 months later it would feel like major renovations had been taking place:

1. Retile the master show
2. Rip up carpet in master bath and lay tile
3. Add cabinet to the kitchen to give more counter space and cabinet for all the dogs food etc.
4. New motor in the pool pump.
5. Trim everything in the back yard (a dumpster full!!)
6. Desert landscaping in the front yard removing the tree and all of the lawn. Replace with three ton of rock, plants and two trees.
7. Add 2 ton of rock to the back yard landscaping (all moved back their by me with two buckets!)
8. Tear up all the tile and carpet on the main floor and install travertine tile.
9. Whitewash, antique and seal all the first floor cabinets so they match.

Not to mentioned we painted everything except the upstairs bedrooms and bathroom. I'm sure those are on the list. This list also doesn't include some of the items we've had to purchase as part of our foster/adoption licensing!!

Now don't get me wrong I'm so excited with how everything looks, but I constantly ask myself what happened to 'MOVE IN READY'. Do I live with a man that is incapable of understanding this concept? Am I incapable of understanding that concept? I'd prefer to blame him!

I sometimes feel that I need to meet the Jones' of our neighborhood, knock on their door and say sorry we moved in and well we've become the Jones' now thanks for playing in the minor leagues, but the pros have arrived and we don't want you to feel bad when you don't win.  We have the only 3 car garage house in our immediate neighborhood. We are 1 of only 2 two stories in the immediate neighborhood. The second being right next door where a family of 5 lives. We are one of only a couple of houses in the immediate neighborhood with a pool.

I mean seriously people the GAYS moved in let's not make a big deal about this and just understand that we are the shit and our house will always be the nicest on the block inside and out. It's not that we mean it to be a competition, but M is a little OCD and I'm a good helper. I've also become pretty good at demo. It helps with the frustration really.

All this renovation will be worth it, I hope, when our home value increases and we step in the door and say this feels like home. It's just the dirty tiring mess along the way that is exhausting. I mean I hate dusting, but I feel like the layers are a bit excessive. If it were better soil I'd plant a crop, but it's desert and has little growing potential.

At this moment we are about 1/3 of the way done with the flooring. I continue to take out carpet just ahead of what M has finished. The goal is to have everything done by Thanksgiving as we are hosting a number of M's kinfolk. (that's a whole nother blog post I'm sure!)

Either way the house will look amazing when it is done and we will feel all the more comfortable lounging in our beautiful home.

Some pics to give you ideas!

The formal living room.

The entryway.

The old entryway.

The hallway to the master bedroom, powder room and laundry. 

The antiqued kitchen cabinets. 

The new master bath with new tile in the shower (including decorative class inlays) and floor. 

From an exhausted blogger, Peace, Love and Puppy Dogs,

J

We said I do...

To starting a family! What did you think I meant? Silly readers tricks are for kids. It is true. Once we got settled we decided to see what Nevada requirements were to adopt from the foster care system. Nebraska was not friendly, as many of you remember, but we were pleasantly surprised to find out that Nevada is very welcoming to LGBT foster and adoptive parents. As an unmarried couple one of us will be the adoptive parent and the other will be listed as a second parent. This is the process for any unmarried couples wishing to adopt through the foster care system so it isn’t really that much of a hindrance. The agency has indicated that both adoptions can be performed on the same day just takes additional paperwork to be filed. So we are well on our way into the process. We decided not to share this information with the general public for fear that we’d get into it and have issues like we did in Nebraska. We are completing the same TIPPS-MAPP class that we did in Omaha. Sadly the state does not allow for transferring of the class credits. Here it is 10 long weeks of 3 hour class, versus 3 hours for 7 weeks before. We elected to do the Friday night classes to accommodate both of our schedules. Tonight we arrive for week 5. With two holidays we expect to be done with class December 12. After that we’ll have our final home study visit and hope to be licensed by January and starting to talk with adoption specialist about possible kids that are available. We did have our first home study visit last night. The licensing workers were very complimentary of our house. Considering we are renovating some of it ourselves and it was dirty they seemed pleased with the space etc. We do have a few things yet to get and some stuff to move at the house, but overall the house is fairly ready. As before all cleaning supplies have to be up high, all medications have to be in a locked cabinet or closet, pool safety items need to be purchased, etc. The only unexpected item from last night’s visit was them telling us that we could not store any pet food in the kitchen or feed the kids in the kitchen. We are challenging that decision as we recently added a cabinet in our kitchen with its own countertop to house and prep all dog related items. The only other sticking point is they are trying to say we cannot store cans of wet dog food in the fridge. We’ll fight that one too as one of the cans is 100% pure pumpkin and the other is one small can of wet dog food for Andrew (the princess has to be fed separately). The classes are ok, but the material is exactly the same. I will say that classes here are much more organized and they actually have us hand in our homework and review it each week. The licensing coordinator sits in on all of our classes and makes notes about the couples to get a better feel for them. Previously the class was presented by two case workers that rotated through teaching duties. No homework was required and it was extremely lax. I do appreciate the professional attitude of the teachers, but the class material is all a repeat. The most interesting thing about our class is that of the 25-30 individuals in their most are LGBT. The first night was kind of funny as one of the ladies asked if we were the only type of people to do this sort of thing. There are 4 straight couples, 2 gay couples, 4-5 lesbian couples and then 3-4 individual women. Last night the licensing workers indicated they’d just taken a LGBT inclusiveness training to better help and prepare LGBT homes to be foster/adoptive families. Then they walked into our class and were a little surprised. Evidently this is the first time they’ve had a class so skewed to LGBT. They actually seemed rather surprised and started to realize how much of their paperwork only says mom/dad versus other types of parenting mixes. However, they were interested to realize that many of the items discussed in the training are the exact items that the members of class are discussing. Overall our experience has been positive here. We really feel like we will be able to grow our family here and make a positive impact in a child(ren) life as well as our own. Peace, Love and Puppy Dogs, J

Good news for a change

If you're like me you don't watch much TV. I'm not your average American I assume as most people do actually watch a lot of TV. They DVR things and watch it later. They have news or a show on during dinner, as they get dressed in the morning and/or watch their soaps during lunch. You carry a mini TV in your pocket if you are a smart phone user and still have a data plan capable of enough to actually watch Netflix, Hulu or Amazon Prime on the go.

However, I like the old fashioned way of looking up my news on the internet and scrolling headlines and brief descriptions to decide if it is an article or video clip I want to watch. Every day I'm looking for a feel good story. I want something that reminds me that their is good in the world. Today I scrolled through CNN.com and Yahoo.com and found not one article that I would consider a feel good story.

With everything going on in our World and the 24/7 non-stop news coverage of every little detail of life, can we not have something positive. Must everything be about Ebola, ISIS, the economy still struggling to get back to where it was, etc.

I'm not trying to downplay the importance of any of those issues, but I feel that we are inundated with the doom and gloom of the world. What does that do to our lives and the lives of young people when all they see are the negatives in the World. I don't want fluff peaces about someone saving a kitty from a tree everyday, but their has to be stories worthy of a feel good nature that get some air play around here.

I decided to Google: Feel Good News Stories and believe it or not their are actually a few websites out there for these.

http://abcnews.go.com/US/Good_News/
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/good-news/

The ones above are just two examples of sites with feel good stories. My next question will be though why are these sites not more hyped. Why isn't their a prominent link to these on the main websites.

I challenge each of you to take a look at them, bookmark them, return to them often for a good read or look further for sites or articles of your own. Even better write your own feel good stories. Maybe it is something that you have done or something that someone in the community has done that hasn't seemed to get enough attention. Post it on facebook and encourage others to share. I'd love to start a list of all the sites and stories for us to share because we need to keep front and center all the good that is in the World or else we lose sight of what we are fighting for.

Peace, Love and Puppy Dogs,

J

Time to Reboot the blog.

Well here goes. I know it has been a few months (April) so sorry to have taken this long to write again. Nothing really exciting and new to report during this post. Just some general ideas of life.

Michael and I are quickly approaching our 6 year anniversary. Our first date was in late January or early February. Really wish we could remember. In that time our family has grown to 4 dogs, thousands of miles traveled and a beautiful new life in Vegas with some amazing new friends. Sadly we miss the old ones deeply and hope they all come to visit soon! hint hint

I start my new job on October 20th and am really looking forward to heading back to work. It'll be nice to have a routine in life again, be earning a paycheck and be out of the house more.

I've found myself in the sad position of gaining back a lot of the weight I had lost about 8 years ago. I'm recently totally enamored by this guys youtube page and easy homeworkouts. I've no illusion of being built like him, but if I could slim back down, feel healthier with more energy and fit into all my suits I'd be happy.

https://www.youtube.com/user/leftyjrpro

I'm going to try and mix this up a little with more posts about life, good living, my exercise routine, healthy foods, kids, dogs, travel and life in Las Vegas.

Wish me luck and thanks for reading!!

Peace, Love and Puppy Dogs,

j

Home??

It is an odd feeling to be selling one home and locating another. For the last year the house in Omaha hasn't completely felt like home as M and the kids were only their part-time, but now it even feels less like home as so much stuff has been boxed up and is ready for transport. Yet, as we sit in Vegas about to begin our day of house hunters sin city I struggle with the beginning tugs of my new home city.

I start to wonder if this will feel like home more than Omaha did over the last 4 years.
I start to wonder if we'll find amazing friends like we have in Omaha.
I start to wonder if I'll find even more amazing friends like I have in Des Moines.
I start to wonder if all those amazing friends will visit us.
I start to wonder how often those amazing friends will visit us and if it'll be enough.
I start to wonder and worry if my kids will like it here.

This will be the biggest move of my life. I moved to Denver after college and that was a big move, but I was just out of college and my sister's in-laws lived near by to keep an eye on me. This is an 18 hour drive, a two hour flight, thousands of miles across barren desert to an oasis of high rise hotels and no winters. Wait no winters let's just bask in that glow for a few moments.....ah that's nice.

As the minutes creep by and the realtor appointment looms near my tummy starts to flutter at the new beginnings that life has thrown my way.

I think I'm ready for you Viva Las Vegas...I hope you are ready for me!

Peace, Love and Puppy Dogs,

J

Change

As I looked across the table today at lunch taking in the hotness that is my main man M I was suddenly hit with the realization of how much change our lives had incurred over the last 12 months.

1. 14 Months ago we were uneagerly anticipating M's departure to his new post out near Grand Island. We had the same amount of time to prepare, but didn't need to sell a house as I wasn't moving. We had regular visits to Nebraska Furniture Mart and would randomly go through the house deciding what would stay and what would go. There were a few nights of tears as we envisioned the lonely weeks followed by the hectic two day weekends and the constant driving back and forth.

2. 10 months ago trying to turn a negative into a positive we spent 8 weeks driving to 84th street and hwy 370 every Thursday night for a four hour training class on becoming a foster parent. While my name would be on everything M was willing to go through the entire process with me. We completed the coursework, the background checks and the homestudy with ease. Nothing was a blip on the trouble radar. We realized this was all new as there was no other couple in class like us, but thought things had changed and so had our circumstances.

3. 8 Months ago we spent two glorious weeks aboard another cruise ship on a nice relaxing vacation through the Greek Isles.

4. 7 Months ago we got a call for our first placement. I went to boystown the next night and met Foster. I did again the night after. Court came around the judge placed Foster in our care. Foster was with us just over 3 months. It was stressful at times, but we had settled into a routine. Sadly things didn't work out for them to go with one of their parents at the next court date and we had planned a trip to southern California to visit the 'in-laws'. While we were gone Foster stayed with an aunt and when we returned Foster was granted a move to stay with her.

5. 3 Months ago while visiting the 'in-laws' we got the call that M was being transferred again, but this time to Vegas. While this wasn't outside of the realm of possibility we hadn't anticipated it occurring so quickly. It was always an idea to move closer to his parents and I agreed with it. Vegas wasn't really on the radar. I will say that I was rather surprised that the conference here allowed M to go.

6. 7 Weeks ago we got the house ready and on the market and I started applying for jobs in Vegas.

Change is a constant in life. These are just the big ticket items that occurred to us. This doesn't include all the little changes that come with life like office moves, friends moving/visiting/ or the general crazy that is life.

It's shocking sometimes when I put things into these perspectives and think nothing is happening. Like nothing is happening with our house, but then realize it's only been less than 2 months. Look at all that has happened in the last 14 months. Crazy how life works, but I guess I wouldn't want it any other way. If I stopped growing or changing I never would have met M and created the family that we do have. There is a Sheryl Crow song that talks about it's not about wanting the things you don't have, but loving the things that you do.  I AM BLESSED and change is always occurring whether you want it to or not.

Peace, Love and Puppy Dogs,
John

I AM BLESSED

Over the last few weeks I have had some serious emotional ups and downs caused from the impending move to Viva Las Vegas. (you can't just say las vegas you have to say Viva Las Vegas)  The house has been on the market for 6-7 weeks now with lots of showings and traffic in our open houses, but not one offer. We've dropped the price as it was the only tangible feedback we got that it was a little high. Other feedback includes closets, yard and kitchen are to small. To those individuals I just say get out of our neighborhood. Seriously people you are looking at a 1928 bungaloo in mid-town. Were you expecting a great room, with walk-in closets and a half acre lot. Stop wasting your realtors time. Oh and if you feel the need to put in a pool then again you are in the wrong neighborhood and price point.

The job hunt continues. I had three interviews with InTouch Federal Credit Union for an Assistant Branch Manager position at the Lake Meade branch. I should know by the end of the month of their decision. This is pretty much the only full interview I have had after two months of looking and applications completed for 84 job postings. Needless to say my batting average is not very high. This is probably why I play volleyball rather than baseball or softball. I continue to look, but have resigned myself that I may have to move without a job and work retail part-time nights and weekends until I can secure something better and full-time.

With all of that I still feel that I have a very blessed life. While it is often hard to remember that it is non-the-less true. Over the last couple of weeks I have struggled with this as many people will. Even the most optimistic individuals have down moments. (well i hope they do) Job hunting to me is one of the most humiliating and de-moralizing activity alive. You look through thousands of job postings every week and maybe, if you are lucky, find 5 or 6 to apply for. You read through them carefully at first to see if you are interested and if you have all the necessary qualification. You find the one item you don't have and you focus on that and determine if you can overcome that in the interview process. At the beginning of your search you may say no I shouldn't apply. By week three your eyeballs want to run from your head when simplyhired or indeed appear on the screen and you are submitting for any job that looks vaguely interesting. By week 7 or 8 you feel utterly unqualified for any, but the most menial jobs and just want to sell your possession and live in a box by the river where you belong.

However,  none of paragraph three is true or really matters. My self worth is not determined by a job posting or what skills I do or do not have. My self worth is determined by the person that I am, what contributions I make to society and how I interact and treat those around me. I AM BLESSED in that I have an amazing life. I have people that love me unconditionally, I'm a good person and try hard to be thoughtful and caring to those around me and beyond and I contribute to make the world a better place by trying to be the best me I can be. I AM BLESSED in that I have food in my tummy, a roof over my head and a few coins in my pocket. In many parts of the world there are millions of people who cannot say that same sentence.

I will admit to moments of weakness over the last three weeks. The flood gates opened and my life was very brown. I fought to stem the flow of negativity and close the gates of self doubt. I'm not back to 100%, but with this I get closer. I've admitted my struggles. I've accepted the things I cannot change. I've aligned my karma with good things. I no longer pray at night to Daddy to sell the house or find a job. I pray to ask for help in listening. Listening for the message that I'm meant to receive through all of this.

Peace, Love and Puppy Dogs,
John

Moving

So I told you this whole blogging thing would be sporadic at times. Don't hate the blogger hate the game baby!

So as many of you know the family is pulling up roots here in good ole Omaha and moving our herd to Viva Las Vegas. While this sounds great and wonderful it is the in-between stages of life that really suck. We have four months to sell a house, buy a house, move oh and me find a new career that hopefully doesn't include a paycut that is half of what I make now.

First for the house:
St. Joseph is firmly planted upside down, three feet from the house and in the back yard. This appears to be the most widely believed position for him in order to get optimal vibage for house sellage! We have decluttered the house of most all personal items and I have been taking tremendous efforts to keep it clean. I swiffer the floors twice a week, I wipe down the sink every day before I leave so there are not spots on the stainless steal and I even make the freakin bed. (I'm seriously thinking of starting to sleep on the couch as this is getting old!) We have had two showings. The first didn't like the neighborhood and the second loved the house, but thought we were overpriced. That should invite the potential buyer to make an offer, but evidently not. So this Sunday we will be having an open house in hopes of bringing in lots of traffic. According to the forecast it is supposed to be about 50 and sunny so let's all pray together that people show up and offers are made!!

Secondly the job hunt:
Not much to really report. To date I've applied for 44 jobs and received 10 flush letters of 'going with other idiots' I mean candidates. Sorry I'm so much more qualified, but if you are unable to look past the fact that I don't yet live in the city of year-round warmth, tans and pools I feel sorry for you. Oh wait it's their prerogative to weed out people. As you may be able to tell my frustration is getting the best of me. The hardest part is finding individuals to look at my resume. I've been networking like crazy on LinkedIn. I'm up to over 200 connections. I've updated my picture and C Todd, a friend of ours, did an amazing job helping me revamp my resume. I firmly believe this is why people stay in jobs they hate because the prospect of looking for a different job sucks even more!!  I will carry on though adn land myself an excellent opportunity! If not M will just have to be my sugar daddy for a while and when I get there I'll go work part-time at a pet store until I find something bigger and better.

All in all I'm just ready for the move to take place. 4 months is a long time to think about things and the added stress and anxiety is not good for anyone.

Peace, Love and Puppy Dogs,

John

Viva Las Vegas!!

I need a roll of pennies, a quickie wedding to Britney and a diet mountain dew!!  I'm gonna hit it big baby!!

Ok maybe not, but as many of you already know M and I are moving to Vegas. For those of you that are just finding out I do apologize it has been a stressful 5 days and it was getting to the point where personal calls and messages were just no longer feasible.

Last Wednesday night M accepted a posting to a position in Las Vegas. By Thursday morning I had three realtors lined up to meet with us that afternoon prior to getting in the car Friday morning and driving back to Nebraska. We met with all three of them and had a hard time deciding on who to go with, but today we decided and signed up. I also started the mortgage application today as well.

By our return to Omaha on Monday I had two realtors coming here to see the house and give us their ideas. Today I enlisted Tim Reeder of NPDodge to list our house. M will be here this weekend to finish up a few projects and we'd like to install a new sink in the bathroom.

As for me and my career aspirations I had to have the stressful discussion this morning with my boss's to pitch my idea of working remotely. I'm hopefully as I really love working for Centris and think that I have a lot to offer. I do realize though that Vegas may be a little to remotely for them and I completely understand. If it does not work I will be on the hunt for new career opportunities. My sister, in her insightful wisdom, thinks I could be a blackjack dealer. I feel this is highly unlikely, but I appreciate Jackie's efforts in trying to lower my stress level.

At this point there is no chocolate within reach that is safe. I can safely say that my ears touch my shoulders at this point. I hope to know on working remotely yet this week or next and that will help alleviate some of my stress. It truly seems like we have so much to do in just 4 short months. (M reports for Duty July 1 and the movers arrive the 3rd week of June!! eeeek)

I can honestly say that I will not miss the state of NE. It has been a rough 4 years living here with emotional ups and downs. I will miss all the good friends that we have here, and hope that you will all visit often. As I look through houses in Vegas I'm picturing you all around our pool drinking and laying in the sun during February. Some more covered than others! (grrr baby)

More to come!

Peace, Love and Puppy Dogs,

john

Exceptions and Stipulations

Today is a sad post. As many of you know we have been approved as foster parents through the state of Nebraska. The day of our first placement I received a call, on my way to court, that indicated the agency was in a scramble because we are evidently only approved with an exception process. The exception process means our license is only conditionally approved and any placements the agency would like to make to us first has to be approved by the state. This was the first we had heard of the exception process and we we were pretty upset about it. We have since found out that the governor has taken over approval of all exceptions and will often take 30 days or more to decide. A child waits for 30 days is unacceptable in any case and often those children are found other homes in that time frame. To our knowledge the governor has not approved any exceptions to homes such as ours.

You may ask how we managed to get our foster. Well through a trick of the case manager who indicated to the judge that she had a non-traditional home ready to take foster. The judge understood and in her ruling specifically put foster into my care. My name is on the court order.

I got a call a week ago from the recruiter of our agency that I have become friends with over the last few months. She wanted to do lunch. When I got there she had some very sad news for us. The state had added a stipulation to the exception process that indicates all other available placement options must be evaluated prior to an exception being requested. This means that if a 10 year old needs a home and a home only accepts 1-5 year olds they would have to be contacted and evaluated for the 10 year old prior to us being given consideration.  This basically tells us we will only be offered the kids that no one else wants or can handle.

We have gone into this with open and honest communication with all parties. We filled out all of our paperwork so that children coming into our home would be kids we would consider adopting if they became available. With M living in Aurora and me in Omaha I can't handle the extremely hard cases that come into foster care.

M and I talked about this and he may have even prayed during our drive to California. At the end of the day we feel so invalidated by the state and a little lied to by our agency.  We have therefore decided to move on with our lives and put to rest the hope of adding to our family human children and will remain dedicated and focused parents to our pups and amazing guncles to our many nieces and nephews.

I had cried my tears over this many times in the past and this decision came to me rather easily this time. I'm ready to be off the emotional rollercoaster that has been my life through the last few years in Nebraska, when it comes to having a family here.

I'm sorry to our friends and families that had such high hopes for us. I feel that I am letting you down in so many ways.  I'm Sorry I'm Sorry I'm Sorry I just can't put myself through this anymore.

Peace, Love and Puppy Dogs,

John

The Start of Goodbye

Well it eventually happens to all Foster Parents. The need to say goodbye and hopefully not see ya soon. Foster gets to go with a relative for the next two weeks on a trial period. If all goes well they will get to stay there and I will be on to my next fostering adventure. You always remember your first though right. There is no comparison. I fear that I have gotten off lightly with Foster though. As we sat in the waiting area for court yesterday I could hear case workers talking to their kids or about cases and I just realized that their are a lot of kids with serious issues. I heard of one kid that had been on the run for the last 5 months, living who knows where and doing who knows what. Another is on track and being returned to a relatives care as long as they stay in school, get involved with extra curricular activity and sticks with their AA treatment. They couldn't have been more than 15, but they looked so proud of all that they'd accomplished.

I hope Foster looks back at their time with us and remembers it with fondness and appreciation. During their time with us grades have improved, behavior has improved and life has settled some. Foster got to play on the basketball team for the last few weeks of the season. Foster is also on track to be able to try out for the Soccer team in March. We will be so proud of him if he is able to achieve all this, but frankly we are already proud of how he has conducted himself in the last 4 months.

I hope he will stay in contact.

Peace, Love and Puppy Dogs!

John

Work = Self worth and gives meaning to life

I was recently having this email conversation with my friend B. He had been without a job for a few months and was recently hired on at a new firm. In chatting with him he mentioned that getting back to work made him feel productive and more self-worth. I question why that is?  I searched myself and found other instances where I have seen that occur. When my sister returned to the world of working outside the home after many years of being a stay at home mom she also indicated this feeling of can do attitude and improved self worth. For myself I've found times of lacking self-worth during job searches, during times of great change in my life and when I wanted to help a situation so much, but lacked the ability to do so.

So why is it that we place so much importance and tie our self-worth to being able to work 40+ hours at a job for someone else? What is it that equates working for a paycheck as so much more important than working to make a clean home, providing love and support for your family or something as simple as reading a good book to give us a self esteem boost.

When someone asks what do you do no one ever answers with their hobbies or goals they always say I'm a lawyer, a doctor, a retail sales person etc.

I refuse to let my self worth revolve around the fact that I work at a credit union doing loan reviews.  It is one part of my life that I utilize to support my life.

My self worth is revolved around the fact that I am a good person.
My self worth revolves around me being there for my friends and family.
My self worth revolves around my faith in the good that there is in the world.
My self worth revolves around my kids who greet me each night like I am the best thing eva!
My self worth revolves around knowing that I am doing everything I can to leave the world a better place.

So in this blog I challenge you to study yourself and respond on where your self-worth revolves!!

Peace, Love and Puppy Dogs,
John